My scales are tipped in the wrong direction

Last weekend my parents came up to visit for monkeys birthday.

We had a lovely day on the Saturday visiting a local adventure park; and we were all in bed early that night.

There was one thing I couldn’t stop thinking about when my parents left; my emotional scales were tipped in the wrong direction.

It’s not been the easiest few months for me; I’ve suffered from tonsillitis every month for the past 5 months, and it’s been really draining. I’ve even just got it again overnight, so that makes it 6 times.

One thing we have managed to pinpoint it to is stress and anxiety.

Unfortunately this means I have to fix the problem in order for the tonsillitis to stop – if I get it another time this year, I can also get them taken out.

When I sit and think, this would be the easiest option; but I know that my scales still need balancing regardless.

Going to the doctor to say I don’t feel emotionally well is difficult. Personally I feel like I’m wasting peoples time.

I am also against being put on pills in order to ‘think clearly.’

Being able to make my decisions based on the feelings I am experiencing is definitely the way I want to handle my emotional scales.

I don’t want to be on medication – that’s the easiest option. I have never taken the easiest option in my life.

So at the moment, my scales are tipped in the wrong direction. I need to make them balance somehow.

Self care is so important. It makes everyone more productive and happy.

I disappear to the gym for my me time, and I enjoy eating healthy and looking after myself. This can sometimes result in me coming across inflexible in certain social situations, and I have also cancelled plans before.

That’s just another example of why my scales are tipped in the wrong direction – it’s an excuse that stems from having social anxiety, and using food as a way out.

But, now I am fully aware of this, I will do something about it.

One thing is for sure, I have the traditional trait of a redhead – being stubborn and determined!

The last few months have been a real eye opener for me, being so poorly.

I’ve got a 4 year old to think about, who starts school in 2 days; if I can’t look after myself, I can’t look after him, and that’s not a position Il put either of us in.

Busy Working Mummy XOXO


One thought on “My scales are tipped in the wrong direction

  1. just wanted to say that i can totally relate to the idea of balancing the ’emotional scales’. i have struggled a lot with my mental health over the last couple of years, more so in the last few months which saw me referred to a psychiatrist and signed off work for the last 3 months. in order to get my life back on track, I’ve had to learn to keep my scales balanced, by learning to recognise when they’re tipping one way or the other and doing something to fix the balance. one thing i wanted to say was my psychiatrist put me on 2 types of medication. after a terrible experience with medication from the GP, i was so reluctant to go on the medication, but he explained that without the medication i would never clear the fog in my mind enough to allow talking therapy and a healthy lifestyle to keep my scales balanced. 3 months on and my life has completely changed. i have a clarity and calmness in my mind that i’ve never had before. crippling anxiety which was part of my everyday life has lifted and my moods are stable. i still have bad days but i recognise them for what they are and ride them out. the biggest change since going on medication has been that i enjoy time spent with my little boy (he is the same age as yours) because i am so much calmer and clearer in my mind that i can cope with his typical 4 year old boy behaviour, tantrums and unpredictable behaviour. also because he is not witnessing mummy have epic meltdowns that mean daddy has to come home and fix everything, he feels more safe and secure with me which in turn means he enjoys spending time with me.
    medication is not for everyone and is not a quick fix. i believe it needs to be used in conjunction with talking therapy and a proactive approach to owning your mental health and adopting a healthy lifestyle (physical and mental) just as you would if you were diagnosed with diabetes for example.
    i just wanted to share my experience with you as you don’t often hear positive stories about being on medication. thank you for writing about this. jen x

    Liked by 1 person

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