So I did previously start to write some posts on toddler tantrums nearly a year ago. Little did I know how bad they could actually become.
I have written several more recent posts describing some of my toddlers extreme behaviour and tantrums.
Now, this post may be the absolute jinx but I am going to give it a go…
2 weeks ago, we turned a mini toddler sized corner. After one horrendous outburst at nursery, they suddenly stopped. Well, not stopped completely, but calmed down by about 1000%.
This coincided with a meeting I had to attend at nursery about plans and actions to put in place to combat his temper and behaviour. To help him learn and understand that he cannot behave like this.
The meeting was incredibly useful and we put 2 absolutely amazing things in place.
- The Good Boy Pasta Pot – When little monkey has done something well, or been helpful and genuinely well behaved, he can put a piece of pasta in his pot. The idea being that he learns that he can get rewarded for good behaviour and has something to aim for. Once his pot is full, he gets a little treat or a present.
- The ultimatum – With the positives, there must be a plan for when the tantrums or negative behaviour appears. When he starts to be naughty or to dawdle when I ask him 10 times to get in the bath, he has 10 seconds to either calm down or do what he is told. After that time has passed, we then look him in the eye and tell him that if he doesn’t get in the bath or calm down, he will not be able to do something else. That something else must be in the immediate future like he cant have his special marshmallows before bed time if he doesn’t get in the bath.
The whole idea behind the ultimatum is that he has to realise that if he chooses not to do something or continue to be naughty, then he has to have something taken away. There are always repercussions.
This is why we have said goodbye to the naughty step. The naughty step i’ve learnt doesn’t teach the child anything other than to sit on a step for 2 minutes when they have been naughty. Usually he would sit on the step, then once he calms down, he will carry on playing or watching TV and things go back to normal.
There has been no repercussions to his actions…and I totally understand it now.
We have been using these 2 techniques for 2 weeks and have noticed a HUGE difference in his tantrums and behaviour.
I am so pleased that we are getting our lovely and kind little monkey back; that the devil child is slowly disappearing in to the background…
…for now at least!
What other techniques have you tried to help with toddler tantrums?
Busy Working Mummy XOXO