The part of the job description of being a mum that no one tells you about!

This is a subject that has been irritating me for ages. Both hubby and I work full time, yet at weekends I am always the one that is more tired. The one that by Saturday night, is in her pj’s laid on the sofa at 7.30pm.

Hubby never understands why I am so tired. I always feel bad about it as we both work full time and both equally look after the little monkey at weekends.

Then Saturday afternoon, after sitting working out what was for dinner and then thinking about what load of washing needed to go on next, it hit me…not tiredness this time, but the thought that I finally understood.

The reason why I am so much more tired than hubby is because he does what I get him to do. He doesn’t have to think about what needs to be done, packing the swimming bag on a Saturday, remembering snacks to take. Ordering the food shop on a Friday night for collection the next morning. The list continues…

It clicked in to place, and I felt better. That feeling of guilt I often get about just needing an hour to go to the gym by myself was somewhat much more justified now.

I have made myself feel guilty for years wanting to go to the gym and leave the monkey and daddy at home on their own. Or wanting to go for a coffee with a friend one Saturday afternoon.

We both work full time. We should both get time on our own as well as important family time.

Yet I always made myself feel so bad about leaving them for an hour or two. Even though, when I had plans to do my own thing, I still organised everything before I left. Lunch, snacks, putting  a wash on and getting it on the line, any cleaning that needed to be done, food prepped for dinner so I didn’t have to do it when I got in later.

If hubby wanted to go to watch his mates play football, he would just walk out of the house and say bye.

That is fine. That is the way most men operate, and I am not complaining. I am just stating something that I hadn’t thought about before.

It is part of the job description of being a mum that no one tells you about. Mums are going to be a lot more tired than the dads. We are the ones that put the plans together, the ones that oversee the household, regardless of if you are a stay at home, a part time or a full time working mum.

Finally after 2 and a half years of being a full time working parent, I get it and I don’t feel bad about it anymore.

That’s why I need a little more ‘me time’ at weekends than hubby – so that my brain can officially switch off for that magical hour on my own and I don’t have to think about what needs to be done at home.

So, mums, next time you feel guilty about popping out and doing something for yourself, don’t. You are the boss of the whole house, and the boss needs a break.

Busy Working Mummy XOXO

*post first seen on


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15 thoughts on “The part of the job description of being a mum that no one tells you about!

  1. I have thought this so many times! I’m a SAHM, so things are a bit different in my home, but my significant other never gets the kids ready/packs bags when we go somewhere. He helps, but it’s different. I feel like I am constantly preparing for what the kids are doing. He just gets dressed. I totally get it.

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  2. Mom dreams of falling in bed to sleep. Men see sheets and revive. Age old problem. Men say they want to help, but can’t see all that needs doing. You have to really spell it out–nicely, in an adult way. It’s very hard, but you can negotiate it! And it does get easier as the kids get older and can pack the swim bag themselves (and suffer the consequences for not paying attention to the packing list), the lunches get packed by the person eating them after about age 8–simplfy have baskets (1 from each). Chore lists for the kids start almost at birth–put clothes in hamper, pull up blankets etc. Remember too you are part of a huge sisterhood that screams out “I hear you!”

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  3. OMGOSH, Yes! My husband was all showered in bed, had been watching the TV,relaxing, while I was downstairs ‘reseting’ the house for the next day and he says “Why are you in bed so late?” Haha, I wanted to punch him in the gut. We mothers don’t shut down. And if I try, I’m still thinking about everything that needs to get done. Lovely post! Cheers and hope your wine was fantastic. #bestandworst

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  4. Yes! That is it! You are so right. I have been parenting for over 14 years and I hadn’t thought of it like this before. Even when the kids are sound asleep in bed I am planning and thinking about things. Eesh! #bestandworst

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  5. This makes me so sad…there shouldn’t be this imbalance. But it happens in my life too, even though I often think I’m very lucky in that my husband always puts on the washing, he does all the ironing and he’s very good at getting our youngest up and out of a morning. But it’s me who has to do all the thinking about everything we ever eat, I do all the planning and packing if we go away somewhere, I’m the one who does the majority of the regular housework. And yet, I always feel guilty if I ask him to do something or take some time for myself!

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  6. As a SAHM to four children, I NEVER switch off! Infact I never get a day off, even when I’m not with them my mind is still very much in “Mum mode” and I’m planning what needs doing, who needs ferrying where, whether the laundry has been done or the food shopping ordered, I just never have a moment to RELAX! #bestandworst


  7. It’s so true! When you are a Mummy you not only think for the kids, but the grown up one too! I once had a strop and went on strike for making decisions for an hour. I just sat in a room and did something that didn’t revolve around directing other people! #twinklytuesday

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  8. I get this. It’s the “Mum brain” It never switches off and that is knackering. Hubby was telling me off as I’d been struggling to sleep but this is why!! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

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  9. Love this! It is so true. And I totally felt that guilt about doing anything on a weekend other than spend time with Zach when I was working. Or anything during the week. I thought all of my time should be his, I should be there for every bedtime that I could be (especially as I worked away sometimes!). And yet the other half found it so much easier to have a day out without us or go to footie on a Tuesday! I am glad you feel better about it now! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

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  10. Oh my goodness – this is so true! I had never thought of it like this before, but it is exactly like this in our house too. Hubby always helps me out and loves being involved with the kids, but yes it’s always me that’s thinking ahead and keeping the house running and making sure everyone is where they need to be. I feel like you’ve just given me a lightbulb-moment! Haha. Thanks! #blogcrush

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  11. You are right, I hadn’t really thought about it like this before. I find the whole wondering what to cook for everyone pretty stressful and tiring (will my husband like it, will my mother in law like it, will my daughter eat it???), but no one really takes that into account. #TwinklyTuesday

    Liked by 1 person

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