Life · Uncategorized

The Guilt Trip that all new mums go through..

The debate of is breast really best looks set to continue after this weeks report came out to say that the rates of breastfeeding in Britain are the lowest in the world.

guilt trip

Only one in 200 children are breastfed up to 12 months old which equated to just 0.5%. The study apparently said that child obesity, diabetes and infections can be significantly reduced if more mothers could be persuaded to breast feed.

It also helps new mums regain their pre pregnancy figures and helps reduce the risk of breast cancer.

The team estimates that 800,000 children’s lives could be saved each year from breast feeding. But the most important thing about this figure that the headlines fail to mention clearly and in context is that it isn’t broken down to each country; it is 800,000 children in the world.

Our NHS recommend that children are exclusively breastfed up to 6 months old before introducing foods. Even if you do it for a few weeks it’s still better than nothing at all.

I watched the discussion on Good Morning Britain this week and then heard on the radio about the prevention of deaths by breast feeding. It sounded like the media had really stooped to a new low.

What gives anyone the right to guilt trip a new mum in to breastfeeding by stating these figures? They are not black and white and obviously sound a lot worse than what they are for the mums in the UK. 800,000 lives is obviously awful…but how many of those are from the UK?

I had an awful time breast feeding which is why I feel really passionate about new mums not being guilt tripped in to breast feeding if they really do not want to.

Don’t get me wrong. If it is a lazy thing that the mum cannot be bothered to do it then yes, I get the frustration from health visitors and midwifes.

In my case, I could breastfeed and did it for about 5 weeks but I didn’t like it and it wasn’t right for little man and I. He was so hungry that it just wasn’t filling him up. I was up all night constantly feeding him, and I just felt like a milk cow.

I absolutely hated it. I discussed my concerns with the health visitor, who then got a breast feeding specialist to come and see me to talk further about my doubts and concerns. The conclusion was – keep doing it and it will get easier. Job done.

It may have got easier. It may have got worse. Yes I stuck it out for 5 awful weeks, but then once I finally listened to myself and turned to formula, it changed my life for the better. It also finally made little man sleep, which meant that I finally started sleeping again.

Why? Because he was full for once. Just by changing to formula, it helped him settle at night and from that first day we started using bottles, he woke up twice for a feed. It wasn’t a constant drip feed throughout the night.

I finally saw the light at the end of a very long new born baby tunnel.

So the lesson to learn is this – please do not make yourself feel guilty for not wanting to or not liking breast feeding. Bottom line is that mum knows best. A happy mummy means a happy baby.

I was not a happy mummy by any stretch of imagination. But the moment I listened to myself and not someone advising that I should keep going regardless, it all became a whole lot easier.

So remember, do what you want to do and not what someone else wants you to do. As long as you feed your baby, and love and nurture them, then you will both be just fine.

Busy Working Mummy XOXO

Stopping at two
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11 thoughts on “The Guilt Trip that all new mums go through..

  1. Your breast feeding experience was exactly the same as mine. Baby Lighty would feed constantly, and when he wasn’t feeding, he would scream – because he was hungry. I made the switch at 4 weeks, because my mental health was suffering (I didn’t even want to pick him up, because I knew that the minute I did he’d want to feed!), and I totally agree with you, it was absolutely the right thing for us to do. It’s so lovely to hear someone that feels the same way I did, although I’m sorry you had to go through it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are totally right that new mums shouldn’t be made to feel guilty that they don’t breastfeed and that you should always do what feels right for you as a person and a family. These statistics are shocking and maybe it’s an indication that there needs to be more support and social acceptance for new mums who want to try and who do struggle and need help, but if it doesn’t work for whatever reason there is nothing wrong with turning to formula.
    I am nearly 12 months into breastfeeding, it was a hard 3 months at the start before we overcame bad latch and a lip tie and there were moments where I did want to give up, the only thing that stopped me was that I had expressed for a year for my eldest, the least I could do was try and do the same with breastfeeding for my youngest.
    It shouldn’t matter how you choose to feed your baby, as long as there is love, support and encouragement and that your baby is happy nothing else matters. X x x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oooh don’t get me started on this I may rant. I had a very similar experience to you. With my first born she just didn’t want to feed but the midwife was not supportive and would not hear it, she just kept saying that I had to breast feed. We were both miserable and one day I realised that this wasn’t helping either of us and actually I should try the bottle. I did and straight away she fed better and we were all happy but I was made to feel so ashamed for that decision. I am so sorry that you had to go through this too and I am glad that you are both happier now too 🙂 #sundaystars

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes, totally agree with this!! There is so much pressure on new mums to breastfeed and it isn’t for everyone. I salute any Mum that can stick with it I really do because it’s alot harder than you think isn’t it!! My little man was breastfed for a few days but he just wasn’t getting enough from me – he was a big baby (almost 11lb!!) and he needed more. I made the decision to switch to formula and everything got 100% easier! He’s now a healthy happy 3 year old and I have no regrets about giving him formula, breastfeeding just wasn’t for us 🙂 #sundaystars

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The best thing you can do for a baby is to make sure they are fed, and if breastfeeding isn’t working then you have to bottlefeed. If they baby is healthy and putting on weight, then it shouldn’t be anyone else’s business!
    Thanks for linking up to #SundayStars

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have to agree with you. With my first I persevered for 8 stressful weeks trying to get baby to latch. Eventually he did and we were good from then, but in the beginning I just wanted someone to let me off the hook and tell me not to make myself miserable and exhausted from it. Everyone who spoke to me about it was very encouraging about continuing but it also felt a bit like pressure. I’m not sure what my approach will be with number 2 (if I’m so lucky), whether I’ll have learned from the first time to stick it out or let it go…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I couldn’t agree more! The pressure to breastfeed is truly disgusting and that 800,000 figure is ridiculous as clearly that’s talking about the poor babies in 3rd world countries who are having formula made from unsafe water.

    The guilt I felt at being unable to breastfeed (my milk never came in following a traumatic EMCS) was definitely a contributing factor in developing PND and I now feel so strongly about a woman’s right to choose how she feeds her baby without propaganda and judgement.

    Thank you for sharing x #sundaystars

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I agree with you! Instead of spending so much on pressurising women and advertising campaigns, the government should be funding actual, practical support. I was desperate to breastfeed but got no practical support because of my age, and was told I couldn’t leave hospital until I gave formula. It still makes me angry almost two years on. #bestandworst

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wow, just the post I needed to read. I hated breast feeding with my first as I was in agony and felt forced to do it for eight months. I have decided to bottle feed this time around and I have already had my SIL phoning me to remind me that I am being lazy, and that I will have no bond at all with my son! I wish people would just let Mums make the right decision for themselves and their family. #bestandworst
    http://www.rockingmummysworld.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I like reading posts like this, don’t get me wrong I am the complete opposite where you hate breastfeeding I love it. BUT I love the fact that this just shows that all mums, and all babies, are DIFFERENT! It depends on a lot of factors as to whether breastfeeding is for you or not and no one should ever be shamed whichever way they choose (because yep it happens the other way round too once you get past 6 months and are still feeding) because ultimately everyone is doing the best they can for their baby! #bestandworst

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This is exactly like my breastfeeding journey, I really wanted it to work out and it just didn’t, I really didn’t like it and was sleeping very little making things so difficult. I hated being made to feel like I was doing the wrong thing when actually it was time best thing I could’ve done. Great post and thanks for linking up #bestandworst

    Liked by 1 person

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