The definition of ‘maternal’ is ‘relating to a mother.’ So would I say I was maternal? Can I relate to a Mother? The answer is yes as I am a Mother, but do I feel like one? Well, the answer is no, so does that make me maternal or not?!
I was asked three times this week when I was going to have another baby as little man has now turned one. I replied, ‘I am not sure I want another to be honest? I don’t think I am a very maternal person’
It isn’t that I don’t enjoy being a mummy, I love my little man more than anything in the world, and my whole world for the past year has revolved around him. Not a minute of a day goes by at the weekend where I am not thinking what is best to do and what will fit in with his routine and make sure he is happy, but I am not sure I could cope with 2 children at this stage of my life, if I am being completely honest.
I am writing this post having made my own tea after putting little man to bed, and now have hubby’s tea cooking whilst my cat is circling my feet wanting his biscuits….when would it end? When do I get much needed ‘nothing’ time?
The answer? You don’t. Even with one child you don’t. Yes you catch the odd hour here and there when you can but now I am a mummy I have someone much more precious in my life to worry about, who I want to spend every waking second of a weekend with before Monday comes and I head back to work for another 40 hour week.
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t have it any other way, and he loves nursery more than anything. When I pick him up he isn’t even bothered about coming over to see me, just raises a smile and carries on playing…and that’s ok. Does that mean I don’t care? Not at all, I am just so relieved that he is happy on a daily basis and it actually means that I don’t have to worry and I do have the flexibility of working.
Some mothers could never leave their little ones when they are so, well, little but I have never had a problem. I was always so keen on going back to work and did so when he was just 5 months old. Again, it isn’t that I didn’t care, I just had to have something back in my life that meant I could be me again for a few hours a day….does that make me selfish?
The bottom line is that every mother is different; some want lots of children and are designed to be ‘maternal’ or are just designed to be ‘maternal’ regardless of how many children they have or want, whereas others may need to work at it a little harder. I am definitely the latter and am still trying to figure all this mummy stuff out.
That doesn’t under any circumstance make me a bad mummy, but I am still trying to find the right balance of work/life/baby at the moment.
I have 2 x 6 day weeks coming up where I am working on the next 2 Sundays, and with hubby working both Saturdays, family time is being put on hold for the next few weeks. We are then off to have a break for a week down in the South West so we can spend time together as a family and relax after an incredibly busy summer.
So in answer to my original question, I still don’t think I am that maternal and I work very hard to be a very good mummy to my little boy; but one thing to remember is that even though there is a definition of ‘maternal,’ there isn’t a definition of what a good mummy is.
Signing off for the day
Busy Working Mummy XOXO